7th Place - Derrick Spafford

Derrick thought they had some big creatures in the woods up in Canada.  Well there's nothing like running through the West Canada Lakes Wilderness with Adirondack beast breathing down your back.  And we're not talking about Kerry Arsenault who finished minutes behind Derrick. 

No, we're talking about the kind of distasteful beast who hates the thought of a trail runner trampling down their private dirt.  A beast so savage he'll stick it to you where the sun don't shine from the comfort of his living room couch.  That's right, activists.  We know they're out there trying to spoil our fun...and if you don't run fast and quiet, you might catch one of their horns.

"I'm going to need something soft to sit on for the ride home."

My mistake, the anti-trail runner extremist looks nothing like that.